Almost Uncontrollable Urges's blog
Boxes Schmoxes
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A tamed down version of the chaos I would have created. Photo courtesy of ribot.
Date of Urge: 10-13-2008
Time of Urge: Approximately 4:30 p.m.
Location of Urge: Local Meijer store
Description of Urge: While grocery shopping with my significant other, I was walking down an aisle. While approaching the end-cap (the end of the aisle if you don’t know) and employee walked past and blocked me due to pulling a large flatbed cart stacked approximately 6 feet high with boxes. I had the almost uncontrollable urge to run and dive through the boxes knocking everything to the ground.
Why urge was controlled: Concern that the boxes may have something large and heavy in them and that I would get hurt on either the initial push-thru, or when the boxes came tumbling down on me. Also, concern that the materials could break and I would have to pay for them. Also, I don’t want a divorce.
Tags: "almost uncontrollable urge", AUU, boxes, break, dive, employee, meijer, store, sweetness
Fling Poo
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The age old question of whether or not to fling one
Date of Urge: 10-17-2008
Time of Urge: 1:30 p.m.
Location of Urge: Vet’s office
Description of Urge: While delivering my pet’s fecal sample to the vet’s office (routine screening) I had the almost uncontrollable urge to fling the poo at the receptionists face while screaming “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!!! EAT SHIT BITCH!!!”
Why urge was controlled: No other people in the waiting room, so therefore no audience for my hilarious antics. Also, the receptionist was pretty cute.
Tags: "almost uncontrollable urge", "what should i do", AUU, fecal, feces, fling, gross, office, poo, question, receptionist, vet, vetrinarian
