Almost Uncontrollable Urges's blog

On the way home from the ballpark

July 29, 2008
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Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008

Time: Approximately 10:30 pm

Location: outside a baseball stadium

Description: On Saturday, I was attending a baseball game at my local professional baseball park.  As we were walking away from the game (the home team lost) we were going down an incline (decline?).  To the right of the sidewalk was a series of concrete pillars with chains connecting each one (bringing to mind the velvet rope).   Well, hanging on to the bottom of one of these chains and leaning over was a little girl of approximately 3 years.  She was holding onto the chain behind her back and sort of leaning out away from me and into the street (pedestrian area, no traffic). I had the almost uncontrollable urge to just punt her across the street.  She was set up for it perfectly.

Control: Contrary to popular opinion, i’m not a complete dick.  Also, her father was there and he probably would have (rightfully) kicked my ass.


Kicking a volleyball

July 28, 2008
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Date of Urge: July 17, 2008

Time of Urge: 8:15ish PM

Location: Bar with volleyball courts

Description of Urge: Each week my friends and I gather to play cornhole (bean bag toss) at a bar that also has sand volleyball courts and a league that plays at the same time as we do.  Every so often a volleyball will come careening out into our play field and someone will come running after it.  This past week the person chasing was an attractive girl wearing a pair of small shorts and a sports bra.  As she came running i got the almost uncontrollable urge to just punt the volleyball as far as I could and stand there laughing.

Why the urge was controlled: Fear of retribution by the rest of the her team, loss of reputation as a “pretty nice guy.”

Extra comment: This is an urge with which I am constantly battling.  As mentioned, the volleyball comes into our play field every week.  I will update if I ever act.


About author

What do we consider an almost uncontrollable urge? Well, first we need to establish a definition. Almost: al*most, [awl-mohst], -adverb, meaning: very nearly. Uncontrollable: un*con*trol*la*ble, [un-kuh n-troh-luh-buhl], -adjective, meaning: incapable of being controlled or restrained. Urge: [urj], -noun, meaning: an involuntary, natural, or instinctive impulse. Therefore, an almost uncontrollable urge is an involuntary, natural or instinctive impulse that is very nearly incapable of being controlled or restrained. These A.U.U.'s occur mostly in public settings, as there is very little to constrain a person in a private setting. The urge is frequently overcome due to any number of things, such as: societal standards, fear of retribution, fear of prosecution, fear of being left alone after having embarrased a significant other for the last time, etc. This is simply a list of several of the AUU's that we have had.

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