Almost Uncontrollable Urges's blog
Boxes Schmoxes
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A tamed down version of the chaos I would have created. Photo courtesy of ribot.
Date of Urge: 10-13-2008
Time of Urge: Approximately 4:30 p.m.
Location of Urge: Local Meijer store
Description of Urge: While grocery shopping with my significant other, I was walking down an aisle. While approaching the end-cap (the end of the aisle if you don’t know) and employee walked past and blocked me due to pulling a large flatbed cart stacked approximately 6 feet high with boxes. I had the almost uncontrollable urge to run and dive through the boxes knocking everything to the ground.
Why urge was controlled: Concern that the boxes may have something large and heavy in them and that I would get hurt on either the initial push-thru, or when the boxes came tumbling down on me. Also, concern that the materials could break and I would have to pay for them. Also, I don’t want a divorce.
Tags: "almost uncontrollable urge", AUU, boxes, break, dive, employee, meijer, store, sweetness
Shot-Putting a Watermelon
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Date of Urge: 07-20-2008
Time of Urge: 9:30 p.m.
Location of Urge: Grocery Store
Description of Urge: While walking around the grocery store carrying a watermelon on my shoulder, I had the almost uncontrollable urge to spin and toss the watermelon like a shot-put. I visualized the watermelon exploding in the milk section, sending bits of watermelon and 2% flying everywhere. I would have then run out of the store screaming about interdimensional watermelon creatures stealing Earth’s milk.
Why the urge was controlled: Not being able to make it out of the store before being caught, due to the fact that I was laughing too hard to run.
Follow-up to urge: When explaining to friends about the A.U.U., we began discussing what foods would work best for the Field events in Track and Field (Discus, Javelin, Shot Put, and Hammer Toss). Tossed around ideas include.
- Discus = Frozen Pizza,
- Shot-Put = Cantaloupe/Grapefruit/Melon Squash
- Hammer-Toss: Pumpkin/Gourd
- Javelin = Swordfish, Corn-stalk, Nerds Rope, Giant Freeze-Pop, Giant Pixie Stix, Yard long Slim Jim, Hot Dog on a Stick
What would make for good food substitutes for The World’s Strongest Man Competitions?
Tags: "almost uncontrollable urge", AUU, grocery, shot-put, store, urge, watermelon
